They say that the quickest and most efficient way to really know a person is traveling with them, this is perhaps an exaggeration, but it makes sense.
Spending the holidays as a couple means to divide a space and time for the both of you, where each of you will defend your particularities, no chance to hide or disguise the situation.
Away from home, it will be you and the person with whom you have not built an intimacy, even the small details will be clearly in evidence: what time does he go to sleep?, what time does he wake up?, how do you both behave in a common space? That is generally small.
On the other hand, you both will have to decide together where you go, when, how, for how long, etc. This means qualities as neatness, knowing when to give in (or always being selfish), mood (or lack of it), disposition (or little desire), good mood (or irritability and impatience), camaraderie (or individualism) will be shown to practice them, test them, observe them and even evaluate them.
Many people in an attempt to not make any mistakes, avoid exposure and end up being too passive, in other words they decide nothing, choose nothing, accept any option and leave the other person to occupy all the space. If that’s your case, I can assure you that this technique does not work and it is destined to fail (big time) sooner or later.
Ultimately, not facing the situations make a relationship become unbalanced and this is a mistake that is difficult to fix if it has remained as the norm for a long time.
The first trip will be an exercise for the both of you and you both should practice your abilities to be friendly and polite.
But these skills have to be real, be part of your personality, ethics, perspective, the way you see the other and the way you see loving relationships, if you only want to simulate being someone who respects the other, their space and their views, remember that sooner or later that entire fantasy world is going to collapse.
So I suggest you 7 essential tips to make your first trip as a couple a complete success.
But keep in mind that you are the only responsible one for your own attitudes, your partner’s has his/her own ones and you are only going to be able to observe them and reflect on them so you can know what you want when you get home.
Image courtesy of Stanley Zimny at Flickr.com
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Talk
Where to go? How to move from one side to the other? How long are you going to stay? And how much are you willing to spend? Try to talk about the details, in addition to this, planning a trip is something very pleasurable, it is an excellent opportunity to combine ways of doing things and making small arrangements to avoid differences later.
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Communication
No longer believe that the other is obliged to know what you are thinking and feeling. In fact, they don’t even have to know it, if something is bothering you, ask your partner to sit by your side, look them in the eyes and calmly tell them what you need or what bothers you. Do not yell, do not blame, do not behave spoiled, a spoiled person is a person who thinks that people must do everything in the same way this person likes to do things. Just be honest and clear, but also remember that you must be patient and always pay attention to hear the ways the other sees things.
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Respect spaces
Try to be clean and respectful, do not leave the floor all wet, keep the towels the right way and don’t try to use them all. To respect the other intimately is very important.
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Organize
To leave everything on a bed, a chair or the floor, taking up all of the bath rack with your creams, brushes, hair dryer, makeup, among others, is a sign that even if it is unconsciously, are not respecting the other person’s space.
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Decide together
Beware of always trying to impose your will and be pushy so that your plans are always a priority. Listen to the other’s requests and take them into account whenever is possible and balance this requests with your wishes.
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Camaraderie is a must
Pouting while you are on a trip that chose to do or deciding not to accompany your partner because you don’t like the plan, are attitudes that may reveal your selfishness and your lack of maturity. Beware of becoming a bad company.
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Back to reality
If the situation becomes very uncomfortable and you do not have a way to cancel the trip ahead of schedule, remember that these holidays will end sometime and you will have the opportunity to rethink the relationship and the choice, either by talking and exposing your feelings or if necessary, ending the relationship.